Monday, January 30, 2006

I am NOT a redneck woman

I thought I would share this story, because if I don't laugh at the absurdity of it, surely I will cry, and that would be a worse outcome. And, in the long run, it's not a huge deal, it's just yet another frustration in a long string of many, I am sure, in the international adoption process...

To start, let me say, my last name starts with W. It is NOT Wilson, but, it might, at a stretch, sound vaguely like Wilson. Let's just say, for the sake of this, that it's, for example, "Watson".

Okay, so, as many of you are probably aware, a woman named Gretchen Wilson has become QUITE FAMOUS lately, mostly for a song entitled "Redneck Woman".

In the last several months, I have gotten numerous faxes addressed to "Gretchen Wilson" instead of my actual last name and lots of clients who call and say things like, "don't you get confused with that country star" - (um, yes, because a blonde divorce and real estate lawyer from Ohio often gets confused with a brunette country star millionaire famous for her redneck-ed-ness.)

Anyway, until today I have found these questions amusing, and somewhat baffling, because I do not really think my actual last name and the name Wilson are all that similar, but, it hasn't been a big deal. But, yesterday, I stopped being amused by the whole Gretchen "Watson"/Gretchen Wilson thing - because this woman has caused the State of Ohio to F**K UP my adoption homestudy paperwork, which, I am working like a madwoman to get turned in in record time, in order to speed this adoption process along.

At any rate, as part of the paperwork, I had to submit a notarized letter, signed by both my husband and I, to the State of Ohio Department of Job and Family Services, asking for verifications that neither Gretchen "Watson" nor David "Watson" have been found to be neglectful or abusive of a child in our care in the State of Ohio. I sent this letter. It was on letterhead that said, "DAVID AND GRETCHEN "Watson"" at the top. It had our names and social security numbers and birthdates and it was signed and notarized.

Yesterday, I opened the mail box (we were gone Saturday and we didn't get our mail until yesterday evening) to find two letters from the State of Ohio Department of Job and Family Services.

One letter stated that David "Watson" had not been found to be a neglectful or abusive parent or guardian in the State of Ohio.

The other letter assured me that "Gretchen Wilson" has never been found to be a neglectful or abusive parent or guardian in the state of Ohio. Well, hey, that's just F**KING GREAT for Gretchen Wilson. But guess who is NOT trying to adopt a toddler from Asia right now, through any agency in the State of Ohio, at least to the best of my d*mn knowledge? Yeah, that's right - country music star Gretchen Wilson has clearance to go ahead with her adoption homestudy, which she is NOT ACTUALLY SEEKING, but, I, Gretchen "Watson", DO NOT. I am trying not to let it get me down, and it is probably only a matter of setting us back by a few days, but, still. Guess who is not, at this moment, a BIG FAN, of the redneck woman? That would be me - Gretchen whose last name starts with a W that is not Wilson - the unredneck woman.


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