Where is the Justice?

I recently had to be sworn into a new Federal Court in which I had not previously practiced. (Attorneys take the Bar in the state in which they wish to practice. If they pass the Bar, they are "sworn in" for the first time, in a nice ceremony, in front of a judge or judges. In my case, I was sworn in, along with almost two hundred other new lawyers, in front of the Chief Justice of the Ohio Supreme Court. That was three years ago. This enabled me to practice law in any trial court in any county in Ohio.

Then, I had to take 6 hours of Continuing Legal Ed, and was sworn into Federal Court for my district. (Northern District). But, I recently needed to do something in Federal Court in the Southern District, which required me to be sworn in in that district. And since I was already admitted to practice in State Court and one district of Federal Court, it was a pretty quick affair.)

I raised my right hand and took my "oath of office" and swore to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and to protect it from enemies known and unknown, and to faithfully represent my clients to ensure that Justice is served.

These are not the precise words, which I have just spent the last 15 minutes searching for and cannot find online. I'm sure they are out there, somewhere. The point is, and perhaps this may surprise some people who may have a low opinion of attorneys, I took that oath with tremendous seriousness. I raised my hand, and I meant every word - to protect the Constitution, against enemies both known and unknown. To serve the causes of Justice.

I said it and I meant it. And today, I am frustrated by it. Because despite my best efforts in a particular matter, I am afraid that the outcome of a situation is going to be entirely unjust.

It is not that I have not tried to represent my client. I have tried, and it seems that I have failed. Some situations arise in which what looks black and white is NOT black and white. Sometimes, the party who has more money has more influence to change people's perceptions of what took place. I wish I could say more, but, to say more would violate another part of the oath - to keep my client's secrets.

I'm angry. I'm frustrated. The other side is motivated by greed and cruelty and spitefulness and, quite frankly, the expected outcome is simply not fair. Not just. And as much as I have railed against and fought against this outcome...it is what it is.

I suppose I should remind myself, that I cannot undo actions that occurred in the past, and as such, I cannot make it "right" in the here and now.

I was going to say that the situation is breaking my heart, but, that's not really correct - maybe it would be better to say, it breaks my spirit, it breaks my resolve, it chips away at my belief that justice is blind...it makes me SAD.

LM