Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Lawsuit filed over Wrong Sperm

No, I'm not making this up. Not even a little bit. Go read about it here and then come back:

http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/couple-sues-fertility-clinic-for-wrong/20070322065109990002?cid=2359

Okay.

Are you back?

Good.

While a part of me can understand why this couple might be upset...another part of me is truly disturbed by the following statement:

The couple says that they have been forced to raise a child who is "not even the same race, nationality, color ... as they are."

The couple also complains that the child is "darker" than either of them. "Darker"?

Okay, first off, I would agree that the couple SHOULD be FULLY reimbursed for the cost of the infertility treatment and any costs related thereto. The clinic made a mistake and these folks shouldn't have to pay for their services. And I would say that the couple should be provided with a full medical history of whoever's sperm DID get used to produce their child.

But, to ask for MONEY DAMAGES because your child is "darker" than you are? To suggest that the child is "not even the same race, nationality, color" as they are?

The child is, IN FACT, biologically related to the mother. So, any "race, nationality, color" coming from the mother are THE MOTHER'S race, nationality, and color.

And they have not been "forced" to raise her. The differences were apparent at birth. They could have chosen to place her for adoption. (I realize that is extreme. But, no one put a gun to their heads and said, "RAISE THIS CHILD OR ELSE.")

I believe I have previously discussed my cousin R~ on this blog before. R~ is tri-racial (her mother (my aunt) is white, and her father is black/Native American. R~ is stunning to look at. Seriously, she's gorgeous. Her skin is dark - kind of a beautiful coffee-with-cream color. (Do not flame me. R~ describes her own skin this way.) When R~ got married, she married a man named L~, whose mom was white and whose dad was black, and whose skin tone matches R~'s skin tone almost perfectly.

And they had a baby. A baby who is blonde and blue-eyed and whiter than a Swede in the middle of January. Seriously. And, since I am hestitant to post pictures of family members who have no idea I'm blogging about them, I will send you here to read about a couple who had the same thing happen to them (coupled with the fact that the mother delivered twins. It interesting. Go look and then come back again. Yes, I know I am sending you all over the internet today. Sue me. http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/mixedtwins.asp).

Anyway, my cousin and her husband are (happily) raising a child who does not APPEAR to be of the same "race, nationality, or color" they are, but who is, in fact, biologically their own. (And they APPEAR, to many people, to be a part of the somewhat largish Dominican community in the Pacific-Northwestern city where they live, which is just completely a false appearance. People speak Spanish to them ALL THE TIME. Neither of them speaks Spanish. R~ likes to respond by going, "Dude, I'm from Detroit. Speak English.")

My point is, APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEIVING. So, while I am sorry for this couple for probably having paid up the wazoo for a shoddy fertility clinic that mixed up some sperm, I am certainly not feeling any sympathy for them for raising a child who doesn't "look" like them. These plainitiffs would be a lot more sympathetic if they had chosen to couch their arguments in other terms.

But, what do I know? Since I actually chose to parent a child who "isn't even the same race, nationality or color" as me. Is there someone I can sue about that?

Feeling a bit snarky today,
LM

8 Comments:

Blogger mam said...

Or "while we love Jessica as our own"...she is your own! Through all the many ways that families are made -- biology, love, nurturing -- she is your own. So why is the qualifier necessary?

Crazy, sad story.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 1:38:00 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

How flippin' sorry are they????

I look nothing like my mother or her side of the family, they are all very very pale with freckles, green eyes and red hair (Scottish) my dad is American Indian, so my mom was forced to raise a black haired, black eyes and tan skinned child.... Oh the horror!!!!!!

Who cares if their children do not look like them? I feel bad for this little girl who will one day be able to read and unterstand the court transcripts and know what her parents said about her...

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 2:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

I couldn't get the article, but I get the gist. This is proof of just how sue-happy this sorry world is. Seriously, do they not even care how this might make their child feel? They need a good lot of therapy, that's what they need.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 7:52:00 PM  
Blogger KelleyO said...

It breaks my heart that this little girl may one day read these words. Don't these people relize how very lucky they are?

Thursday, March 29, 2007 12:36:00 AM  
Blogger Gina said...

I've heard of a mistake like this twice before. One involved a Dutch couple going through IVF. The couple eventually got pregnant with twin boys. When they were born, one was white and the other...not so white lol. Here is a link to the story http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9438648/.
I know this kind of stuff doesn't happen often, but clinics need to be more careful. What happens if a half minority child is born into a family of racists? Hell, what happens if a half white child is born into a family that doesn't like whites? What happens if the husband accuses the wife of having an affair? What happens if a half minority child is born into a family of idiots???
As pissed off as this couple's comments made me, I realize that not everyone is equipped to be a transracial family. For the sake of this little girl, I hope these people get help ASAP!!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007 1:35:00 AM  
Blogger Django Sexton said...

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think that a child born in the United States is a U.S. citizen. That would make the child the same nationality as the parents, right?

Also aggriviated and agrieved,

ds

Thursday, March 29, 2007 9:21:00 AM  
Blogger Space Mom said...

I read this story last week and it upset me. The poor kid. Her own mother doesn't want her because the biological father is different?
Hello?

My kids look much more like my husband. If my haircolor wasn't given to my kids I swear people would ask who the mother is.

I am far more upset that they call their child "a tragic mistake"

Thursday, March 29, 2007 12:26:00 PM  
Blogger La Turista said...

Nice. And kudos to the a-hole who "advised" them to go for money damages. Another proud moment for our legal brethren.

Thursday, March 29, 2007 10:16:00 PM  

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