Tuesday, June 05, 2007

There is a Polly Pocket in my Purse, where once only Hotwheels dared to tread

Five months ago, David and I first met our brown-eyed girl. (See post below for a photo of our first mintues together).

In many ways, I can hardly believe that it has only been five months.

It seems like a lifetime ago.

I know it makes no sense, and I know I have said this before (to some of you in real life, if not on this blog), that my memories of our time in DaNang and HaNoi are farther away from me that my memories of our time in Japan, or my time in France or our time in Tucson. Those times and places are all more than a decade in the past. But, my memories of the lives I led in those places are clearer, crisper, more available to me, than the three weeks we spent in Viet Nam. (And yes, I realize that I LIVED in those places, and I only visited Viet Nam, but, it's the best comparison I can offer.)

My memories of that trip seem to grow fuzzier by the day, like they are at the very edges of my consciousness and threatening to fade away into oblivion. I am so glad I kept such a detailed journal, because, without it, truly, I would have a hard time remembering that it was "real."

Obviously, when I look at Lana, or when I see tiny pink shoes in the foyer of my house, or the Strawberry Shortcake bathing suit hanging in my shower - I know she came from somewhere. There is the surreal realization that she is in the here and now, she is filling in a space that for so long we didn't even know was empty.

But it seems impossible - only five months ago? Only five months ago, David and I flew halfway around the world, for this child, and brought her home? Hasn't she always been here?

And yet it is those tiny pink shoes in my foyer - I KNOW those haven't always been there. Or the Polly Pocket at the bottom of my purse, hanging out with a Tinkerbell lip gloss. Is it possible it has only been five months since I first saw her with my own eyes?

It hasn't been easy, these five weird, wonderful, bizarre, emotional months. But, I think it's getting easier. It's certainly getting harder to remember that she hasn't always been a part of us.



Anonymous Christina said...

Gosh she is looking so good! Just beautiful and such a sparkle in those eyes.
And I know what you mean... VN seems long ago and far away. And when we look at pictures or talk about things that happend last year or two years ago, it's weird that Zeeb wasn't there. It just seems like he was, because he is such a fixture in our family now.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 3:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Nicki said...

I know exactly what you mean about the passage of time. Exactly.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 9:26:00 PM  
Anonymous rachel said...

Congrats on surviving those first 5 months. I hear ya on the ups and downs. It's one weird ride. I love the pictures. She is SO beautiful!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger maxhelcal said...

Lana looks so beautiful!

I've been thinking about it a lot too... sometimes, I can't believe we actually did it! Then Steve says "I can't believe YOU did it either!" LOL ( I am the one who has always been too scared to fly and my first trip ever was halfway around the world)

Then I start thinking about how close I feel to this delightful little person and it's hard to believe she was ever somewhere else. Especially so far away and yet she is here now...as if she always was!

I pray I can hold onto those memories of our time in Vietnam. They do seem so far away.


Saturday, June 09, 2007 5:48:00 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

I realize I have not posted a comment in ages, but do know that I think of you and your family often. Lana is a gorgeous child, and I am thrilled that you now have polly pockets and lip gloss in your purse!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007 10:38:00 AM  

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