Shopping Frustration

Before I start my post, I have to share this: as I type this, Gabriel is dancing around our living room to the Talking Heads' Girlfriend Is Better, and he is doing a full-on David Byrne impression, and I have to say it is one of the funniest things I have ever seen....I wish I knew where our video camera was. (Although I am trying to decide if that's bizarre behavior for a 7 year old...)Anyway, on to my actual post.

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I'm going to admit something I don't admit very often.

I...am a size 16.

I'm not happy about this number - this number bothers me A LOT. And in my head, (and this might sound insane) - I am still the same size I was 8 years ago before I got pregnant with Gabriel (size 12). It's possible that in my head I am still the same size I was when I was living in Japan - which was, a size 10, and then later, after a year of living in Japan, an 8. (Which was still ENORMOUS compared to every other woman in Japan...and I'm also about 5'7", which made me a giant. Nothing like being a size 8 and still feeling like a huge fat giant to do wonders for a girl's self esteem.)

It's quite painful to my psyche to admit that I am, in fact, a size 16 and have been so since I quit nursing Gabriel 7 years ago. (See, while I was nursing Gabriel, I did lose a lot of weight, although I honestly don't know what size clothes I was wearing...but, then I was in the middle of law school with a sleepless one year old, and, well, I gained weight.)

Anyhow, despite my walking and McDreamy/Sydney Bristow watching whilst walking (you would think if one was working out while simutaneously watching actresses who are all smaller than a size 2, a person would BECOME smaller, but, not so much), I am still a size 16. Presumably a size 16 with healthier lungs, heart, etc. (God I hope so.)

I had been avoiding buying a dress for Lana's baptism in the hope that I would actually, oh, I don't know, have whittled myself down to a lithe and practically invisible size 14 by this time, but, it was not to be.

So, Husband and I and the shorties took off for the mall after dinner yesterday. (We actually took the children to dinner out at Red Robin, since it is one of the few places in this town that is VERY LOUD to begin with, so, Lana's amazing loudness while in restaurants is hardly even noticeable).

We went to a very many clothing shops at the mall. Very many. And I am sure it seemed like more than it actually was, considering that we had a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old with us, which can make shopping for a dress really not fun. (Although it did remind me why I am so very fond of the J.Jill and Coldwater Creek catalogues (yes, when it comes to clothes, I am distinctly a midwestern girl with midwestern clothing...)...because I can shop from the comfort of my bed without 2 children asking if we can "go home yet".

Problematically, in my goal to lose a size before buying a dress for Lana's baptism, I inadvertently failed to take into account that, despite the fact that it is August and has been 100 degrees outside for weeks, all the stores have their new fall lines in.

And gadzooks, what a hideous fall it is going to be, because, LORD. It looked like UGLY threw-up all over every dress I looked at. Not that I looked at that many, because there were very very few dresses, ANYWHERE.

At Macy, I was looking at the sales rack, hoping for a pretty summer dress, and, of course, the only dresses left from the "end of season" were size 2s and 4s.

It was...depressing. I was very nearly in tears about the whole situation. We went to store after store, and I finally asked one salesgirl where I might find a dress that didn't look like couch upholstory from 1978, she told me that August was not "a good time to buy a dress." Huh...

Finally, at Dillards, shoved in a forgotten back corner, when I had all but given up and decided to wear BLACK to the Baptism...I saw...a rack. A rack of DRESSES. PRETTY DRESSES. In pretty colors, and there were six of them IN MY SIZE. AND THEY WERE 75% OFF. (It was like a dream come true.) I tried on all six of them, and there is nothing like a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old who are sensing they are about to be released from shopping purgatory to make a girl feel okay about being a size 16. EVERY DRESS was met with a cry of "Mommy!! You look so PRETTY!!" (See...occasionally my children are smart enough to figure out what side their bread is buttered on.)

Ultimately four of the dresses were cut too low for church. (Let's face it, no one wants to be known as 'the mom with all the cleavage at the baptism'...) So, I left Dillards, victorious, with two very pretty dresses, both of which had been marked down from $140 to $35!!!

I fear however, based on the rest of the clothing I saw last night, they are the LAST pretty dresses I will be seeing at the mall for a while....

LM