I don't know what to say...
There's a lot of...um...stuff happening with Vietnamese adoptions right now, in the past month or so. I'd be lying if I said it didn't rattle me to my core this morning when I read this Notice From the US State Department concerning Adoption from Vietnam. Honestly, I thought I was going to throw up when I read it.
I contacted my agency today, who asssured me that Lana's adoption was entirely ethical, that the fact that it was approved by the Embassy indicates that the Embassy didn't question our particular adoption.
I'm just...I guess I don't have any words right now.
I love my daughter. I believe she needed a home. I believe she needed a family. I'm choosing to believe that, in the grand scheme of the universe, she truly belongs with us, and that we were always meant to be a family. I don't know how to exist otherwise.
LM
posted by LawMommy at 4:05 PM
5 Comments:
As an adopted kid myself (though adopted domestically) there are tons of issues surrounding adoption in general. In the US, mothers are frequently hauled across state lines in order to have that state's adoption laws apply instead of the mother's home state, for example. Also, the father is frequently not consulted wtih regard to the adoption and in lots of states, his consent isn't necessary.
That being said, while there are lots of ethical issues surrounding adoption in general, none of these issues are sufficient to warrant condemnation of the process as a whole. While mistakes are inevitably made and trafficking is a concern, the good that is done to many children (like myself!) who were adopted is immeasurable. I don't know where I would be without adoption, but I'm sure it wouldn't be where I am now - with an undergrad degree from a top 10 university and an almost-graduate level degree.
You're providing her with a loving home and should rest easy.
As Shrek said, an ogre is like an onion and so is international adoption. There is a lot of cause and effect you never realized about the entire business.
My seemingly good act of mutal benefit had all sorts of ramifications all the way down the line I never intended. I have an internationally adopted child with a muddled past. Not when I adopted her, but years down the road I am still getting odd emails with more pieces of the puzzle.
Here is what gives me comfort though it may be flawed wisdom and certainly influenced by my situation. If this child, could be lost by the birth parents so easily, little children are used for many other things much worse then adoption. All you have to do is watch a PBS show like "The Day My God Died" to see truck loads of little girls being shipped off to brothels for prostitution and little boys slaving in sweat shops.
Poor unfortunate people have been losing by choice or not, or down right selling their children for such purposes for centuries.
I did not mean to contribute to the buying, stealing and selling of children. Maybe my child was a "true" orphan , she probably was or maybe not. I know she was in bad shape by the time I got her and I will make sure she never falls through a crack again.
When I look at my child I think of another line from a movie, Saving Private Ryan,"earn it". Not for her, but for me. Every time I look at my daughter I think that and it gives me more patience, kindness; everything it takes to do the best for her.
I have your same feelings. I don't even know what else to say :(
I'm pretty short on words, for a change. I'm sick to my stomach for sure. I'm glad your agency was able to reassure you.
I hope that, in time, you will rest easy, knowing that you did do everything possible to ensure that your adoption was ethical and above board.Be assured that those of us who have read your blog throughout your journey to adopt lana have never entertained the thought that you did not do everything possible to pursue an ethical adoption.
It is a heartbreaking situation that has many of us ill to our stomachs. We are certainly grieving the loss of our dream of adoption a child from Vietnam- yet we grieve even more so for all the victims (including the adoptive triad) of these greed driven crimes against the most vulnerable of human society- children.
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