Friday, September 19, 2008

You Are Only My Mommy

Lately Lana has been extremely, even demandingly, affectionate. I'm not sure how to describe this exactly, except to call it, "attack affection". She lunges herself at Husband and I and wraps herself around our necks or legs or waists or whatever part of us she can get a hold of, and announces, "I LOVE YOU! HOLD ME!"

We try to accommodate this need for affection as well as we can, but, it's difficult to, for example, chop an onion and hold a five-year-old, even a really light one who is hanging on to your body like a monkey. (Believe me, I've tried.)

She is doing well in kindergarten. I spoke with her teacher on Monday for about 15 minutes, about how she was getting along in class. Mrs. K~, Lana's teacher, who appears to be 16-years- old but obviously must be at least 24), said, "Honestly, if you hadn't told me that she had only been speaking English for 18 months I would never have guessed." She said that, from her point of view, Lana understands everything that happens in class, has no trouble with her "skill ring skills"*, and is socializing very nicely with the other kids. Mrs. K~ is not concerned about the trouble Lana has pronouncing consonant blends, because evidently (?) lots of kids who speak English as their native language have trouble with "fricatives and blends" in kindergarten. So, it's a relief to know she is doing just fine at school.

The other thing Lana has been saying, A LOT, is "You are my only mommy" or "You are only my mommy." I think there is a huge difference between those two statements, and I'm not sure if she means both of them.

When she says, "you are only my mommy" she will often add, "not Gabe's mommy" as a clarifier, which makes it pretty obvious what she is trying to insist that she should not have to share me with Gabe. (Sorry, sweetie, but, Gabe is part of the package.)

However, there are times when she says, "you are my only mommy" without insisting that I am NOT Gabe's mommy, and I don't know if she means that she no longer remembers her foster mother or, if she's just being affectionate or what?

I probably should not dig too deeply into this, as it is likely that she is simply marking her territory, so to speak.

Needless to say, the comments from her that I am not Gabe's mommy are going over like a lead balloon with Gabe.

There is some constant bickering and arguing happening between the two of them almost constantly, and, quite frankly, they are making me a little nuts.

I've been cranky and nutty and frustrated about several things, actually, like:
1. the above mentioned bickerfest between the munchkins
2. stress at work caused by the fact that we represent a large financial institution, and let's just say that this is not a good time to be representing the banking industry
3. the stress at work caused by J~'s continued absence
4. a company that we paid $200 to plant a tree in our front yard BACK IN MAY, has still not planted a tree in our front yard...and our home owner's association requires that the stupid tree must be planted, and I'm ticked that I paid to have it done, and it's not done, and now I'm probably going to have to get ugly over this stupid tree and threaten to sue them and (I realize that you will find this laughable, since I am a lawyer), it ticks me off that people don't do what they are supposed to do. (Welcome to my entire existence as an attorney, the veritable realm of all things people are supposed to have done that they don't do and, voila, enter the lawyers.)
5. I have been unable to find an all-inclusive family vacation for spring break (we have Easter week off as does the rest of the country) that costs less than $10,000, and thus, we are not going anywhere for spring break and this makes me irrationally and unreasonably depressed.
6. both husband and I have been struck by the head-cold-that-won't-die, and that just sucks

I'm going to quit rambling and complaining now and just hit publish.



Anonymous Christina said...

It sounds like Lana is doing really well with attachment and development. Amazing how far she has come such a short time. I wish I could have a 15 minute chat with Zeeb's teacher... I never know though when people say his language is "fine" if it's really fine or just not off-the-charts bad. But notice I haven't done anything to determine that with an actual professional speech therapist or anything. I'm a great mom like that.

These are stressful times and it would be nice to have a spring vacation to look forward to. Maybe you could look for something in driving distance to make things a little more affordable? (like, is Florida doable, or would that be a horribly long drive??) I'm already fantasizing about the beach vacation we're planning with Hubby's family next summer, how sad is that?

Friday, September 19, 2008 2:18:00 PM  
Blogger Anne K. said...

Awwwww. So glad she's off to a good start with her kindergarten life. My daughter, who teaches elementary children at a public school in Brooklyn (where a tree grows!!) has several little ESL students and she says it's amazing how rapidly they learn...and Lana's teacher is right, even native English speakers don't have all the nuances down when they're still so wee!

Friday, September 19, 2008 4:11:00 PM  
Blogger maxhelcal said...

It's wonderful to hear her doing so well!

Hope your cold goes away soon.

Saturday, September 20, 2008 9:24:00 AM  
Blogger Nicole - Raising Animals said...

I'm totally jealous that Lana is doing so well in Kindergarten! haha
And that's SO weird that the housing association people are FORCING you to have a tree in your yard. And it sucks even more that you've paid for it and it hasn't happened yet.
I hope the stress eases up a bit soon! You could always just come on another vacation to the west coast!

Saturday, September 20, 2008 2:19:00 PM  
Blogger Patricia said...

My 2 year old does something similar. When I'm sitting on the couch, he lungess at my yelling, "LAY DOWN!" pulling at my shirt all the while. When I lay down, he climbs up and cuddles in next to me. Definitely Attack Affection. It's hard to get angry when you get that snuggle as a reward. :)


Saturday, September 20, 2008 11:19:00 PM  

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