Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Why girls?

I think I have mentioned before that our adoption agency has told us that the vast majority of Americans looking to adopt from Asia are looking to adopt girls, and that many families indicate that they will not accept a boy.

Our social worker confirmed that this is true.

My husband and I have indicated that we are open to a child of either gender, although, because we HAVE a boy, we COULD request a girl.

I just don't feel comfortable with that. Not sure why, I'm just not.

I mean, if we were trying to get pregnant and we knew that we had some kind of genetic issue that was sex-linked, I would probably do what I could (i.e. sperm centrifuges) to avoid a child of the sex that is affected by the issue. (I can't think of any example here except color-blindedness, and that really isn't a big enough issue to justify screwing around with fate, but, I know there are other, much more serious, sex linked genetic issues. Any biologists our geneticists out there want to comment? Feel free.)

But, anyway, I just don't feel comfortable stating a preference. And I started to wonder why other people might feel so strongly about it.

So, I have some theories:

Two Bland Theories

1. "Balance" for families - I think that people who already have a boy may feel strongly that they want a girl
2. Unbalanced families - people who already have a girl might feel comfortable with girls and want another one

Other not-so-bland theories

1. As a nation, we have a perception that Asian women are beautiful.
2. We have a perception that Asian women are petite, and, as beauty standards go in the US, petite women = positive.
3. We have a perception that Asian men are petite. Here in the US, petite men ARE NOT a hot commodity. I'm just stating a fact.
4. Asian boy babies are not circumsized. I think many American parents would be uncomfortable with that. I'm not entirely sure WHY, but, I do know that I had my biological son circumsized for reasons that, to this day, I do not understand. I am not sure how much this contributes to Americans not adopting boy babies from Asia, but, I'm throwing it out there.
5. The vast majority of babies available from China are female. The VAST VAST majority. I don't have any stats, but, I've only seen one male child adopted from China, and he had a cleft lip and palate (though you could not really tell after his plastic surgery.) And the vast majority of children adopted from Asia are adopted from China, ergo, people see many adopted girls from Asia, and therefore, circularly, when they think about adopting from Asia, they think about adopting girls.

So, there you go, my theories on why most families adopting from China want girls.

I am fully expecting the Vietnamese stork to drop a boy baby in my lap. And that's okay.

4 Comments:

Blogger Space Mom said...

From CHINA? or Asia in general?

There are obviously more girls to be adopted from China. I do not know in the other Asian countries if this is true

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 3:34:00 PM  
Blogger LawMommy said...

It's weird...from China there are pretty much only girls available. But, from Thailand and Vietnam and India, more boys than girls. Or, rather, an equal number, but, more people wanting girls, so, people willing to take a boy usually get boys. Or so I am told. I guess we'll see how it all plays out.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 4:51:00 PM  
Blogger LawMommy said...

Oh, and obviously I should state that the reason that the vast vast majority of children available from China are available because of the overwhelming preference for male children and the dramatic impact of the one child policy.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 4:53:00 PM  
Anonymous heather said...

Yes, the "one child" policy has had such an impact in China, that in rural areas young men are unable to find women to court, and are forced to travel to larger cities to find a wife. Really puts our freedoms into perspective, doesn't it?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 8:18:00 AM  

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