It's Possible I Should Not Be Entrusted With the Care of Other Creatures

I was sitting at our kitchen table this morning eating cereal with Gabriel. (I was eating the twig like high fiber cereal that has virtually no Weight Watcher points...Gabe was enjoying a more kid-friendly bowl of Kix. (Kid-tested, mother approved and all that jazz. We used to buy Berry Berry Kix, which was a favorite of both Gabe and I, but, I cannot find it anymore. I think maybe they don't make it, which is a shame, really, cause it was tasty.)

Anyway, I heard a noise that sounded a little like a baby crying. I said, "Gabe, did you hear that?" And Gabe, being 7, and totally engrossed in his early morning Sponge Bob Square Pants + Breakfast Cereal induced trance-like-state said, "Huh?"

So, I said, "turn Sponge Bob off for a second and listen." Which he did, and we did, and nothing happened. We heard nothing.

So, Gabe turned Sponge Bob back on and I walked towards the foyer, and I heard the noise again, and I realized that it didn't sound like a BABY crying, it sounded like a CAT crying.

I called to Gabe - "Gabe, are you watching the episode where Sponge Bob and Gary get separated?" (Gary being Sponge Bob's pet snail, who, uh, meows a lot, for all of y'all who don't have a 7-year-old in your home and are therefore not intimately familiar with almost every Sponge Bob Square Pants Episode ever made.)

"No mom, Gary's not even in this episode."

Huh.

I heard the crying again, and I couldn't figure out where it was coming from since my ability to determine which direction sounds are coming from was a casualty of the Great Ear Drum Rupture Nightmare of Thanksgiving Weekend 2005.

I sent Gabe out back to see if the cat was in the pool. (Yes, I know that's insane, but, I couldn't figure out what would make the cat make that pathetic sound, aside from a near death experience.)

The Big Orange Cat had been hanging around me all morning, so, I knew it was the Small Auxiliary Cat that was in trouble.

Gabe came in to report that the cat was not outside. And also definitely not drowning. Which is a blessing, because, truthfully, beside being heartbreaking, having the cat drown in the pool would probably wreak some serious trouble on the liner.

The bus was coming, so, Gabe ran out and got on the bus, and I walked through the house, calling for the cat, which is normally a useless endeavor. The Big Orange Cat knows its name and will occasionally come when called. The Small Auxiliary Cat has NO CLUE what its name is.

I went to check Lana's room (where she was still sleeping) because the cat, despite an overwhelming amount of evidence that Lana does not love him, LOVES LANA like nobody's business, and normally fights like hell to sleep under her bed. Which she hates, because he then waits until she is asleep and then jumps up on her bed and tries to stealthily love all over her in her sleep, which freaks her the hell out. (And really, what normal person would NOT be freaked out by a very furry someone purring like a freight train and licking you out of a peaceful slumber?)

But, the cat was not in Lana's room, nor in any of his other usual haunts, and I finally found him, locked in the basement in the gift wrap and holiday crap closet. Which I could not remember opening at any time in the last week. (But, I did remember having argued with the cat about NOT sleeping with Lana some two days ago, so, I know for SURE the cat wasn't stuck in the closet for a week.)

Husband says he remembers looking in the closet for a pair of scissors yesterday, so, that must have been when the cat got trapped.

Either way, the cat was hungry, thirsty, and p*ssed at me.

He's sulking in the corner right now, and I need to take a certain little girl, who is still sick, to the doctor's office.

LM