Friday, September 28, 2007

It's Possible I Should Not Be Entrusted With the Care of Other Creatures

I was sitting at our kitchen table this morning eating cereal with Gabriel. (I was eating the twig like high fiber cereal that has virtually no Weight Watcher points...Gabe was enjoying a more kid-friendly bowl of Kix. (Kid-tested, mother approved and all that jazz. We used to buy Berry Berry Kix, which was a favorite of both Gabe and I, but, I cannot find it anymore. I think maybe they don't make it, which is a shame, really, cause it was tasty.)

Anyway, I heard a noise that sounded a little like a baby crying. I said, "Gabe, did you hear that?" And Gabe, being 7, and totally engrossed in his early morning Sponge Bob Square Pants + Breakfast Cereal induced trance-like-state said, "Huh?"

So, I said, "turn Sponge Bob off for a second and listen." Which he did, and we did, and nothing happened. We heard nothing.

So, Gabe turned Sponge Bob back on and I walked towards the foyer, and I heard the noise again, and I realized that it didn't sound like a BABY crying, it sounded like a CAT crying.

I called to Gabe - "Gabe, are you watching the episode where Sponge Bob and Gary get separated?" (Gary being Sponge Bob's pet snail, who, uh, meows a lot, for all of y'all who don't have a 7-year-old in your home and are therefore not intimately familiar with almost every Sponge Bob Square Pants Episode ever made.)

"No mom, Gary's not even in this episode."


I heard the crying again, and I couldn't figure out where it was coming from since my ability to determine which direction sounds are coming from was a casualty of the Great Ear Drum Rupture Nightmare of Thanksgiving Weekend 2005.

I sent Gabe out back to see if the cat was in the pool. (Yes, I know that's insane, but, I couldn't figure out what would make the cat make that pathetic sound, aside from a near death experience.)

The Big Orange Cat had been hanging around me all morning, so, I knew it was the Small Auxiliary Cat that was in trouble.

Gabe came in to report that the cat was not outside. And also definitely not drowning. Which is a blessing, because, truthfully, beside being heartbreaking, having the cat drown in the pool would probably wreak some serious trouble on the liner.

The bus was coming, so, Gabe ran out and got on the bus, and I walked through the house, calling for the cat, which is normally a useless endeavor. The Big Orange Cat knows its name and will occasionally come when called. The Small Auxiliary Cat has NO CLUE what its name is.

I went to check Lana's room (where she was still sleeping) because the cat, despite an overwhelming amount of evidence that Lana does not love him, LOVES LANA like nobody's business, and normally fights like hell to sleep under her bed. Which she hates, because he then waits until she is asleep and then jumps up on her bed and tries to stealthily love all over her in her sleep, which freaks her the hell out. (And really, what normal person would NOT be freaked out by a very furry someone purring like a freight train and licking you out of a peaceful slumber?)

But, the cat was not in Lana's room, nor in any of his other usual haunts, and I finally found him, locked in the basement in the gift wrap and holiday crap closet. Which I could not remember opening at any time in the last week. (But, I did remember having argued with the cat about NOT sleeping with Lana some two days ago, so, I know for SURE the cat wasn't stuck in the closet for a week.)

Husband says he remembers looking in the closet for a pair of scissors yesterday, so, that must have been when the cat got trapped.

Either way, the cat was hungry, thirsty, and p*ssed at me.

He's sulking in the corner right now, and I need to take a certain little girl, who is still sick, to the doctor's office.



Anonymous Christina said...

My cats have found all sorts of weird places to lock themselves... a dresser drawer (it was very big), the pantry, the linen closet (where, unfortunately, she stayed all night and left behind a pungent smell...) - Oh and then there was the time right after we moved in when our smallest cat got herself lost *inside* the kitchen wall thanks to a small hole in the molding near the dishwasher! So take heart, I am surely a less diligent cat owner than you! :-)
Hope Lana is feeling better soon!

Friday, September 28, 2007 12:06:00 PM  
Blogger said...

Sadly our Maggie (family shepherd) has been a bit neglected in the attention arena since bringing the twins home. So, when they're sleeping in the morning or after we've put them to bed we give her some love and affection. Other wise she would be "spite" pissing all over the house! lol. Animals do know how to get even with us.

Friday, September 28, 2007 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Sorry about the cat. Cats are so easy to lose in the house though, because they are always hiding and in weird places.

I hope Lana feels better soon!

Friday, September 28, 2007 2:51:00 PM  
Blogger Wordgirl said...

Having both a cat and a seven year old step-son - I could relate to this -- especially the spongebob trance. Have you ever seen the spongebob where he's watching a nature show with asexual reproduction and switches the channel immediately when someone comes in? Thank god for adult humor in kid's cartoons.


Friday, September 28, 2007 3:39:00 PM  
Blogger niobe said...

Poor kitty. My cat does the licking thing with me, but it's always because she wants something.

Friday, September 28, 2007 4:46:00 PM  
Anonymous E. said...

This cracks me up because:
We have a large black cat who knows his name and will sometimes respond to it;
and we have a small-boned, though grossly obese, second cat who has no idea what her name is.
Small-boned very, very, very fat cat has gotten herself trapped in the drop ceiling of our finishd basement more than once. The first time it took FOREVER to figure out where the mewing was coming from, and we were quite shocked when we realized it seemed to be coming from the oddly bulging ceiling tile.

Saturday, September 29, 2007 8:06:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Hit Counter
Get a Free Hit Counter