Oh Angelina, the Things That You Say...

Angelina Jolie and I have a couple of things in common.

For example, we both adopted older children from Vietnam.

We both have a biological child as well.

We have both attended the Cannes Film Festival. (Yes, that's true, I've been to the Cannes Film Festival. It's an AMAZING experience.) (But, that's not the point of this blog entry. Maybe another one, later.)

But, Angelina recently made a comment at this year's Cannes Film Festival that clearly indicates that Angelina and I may not even be from the same planet.

I got this quote from NBC.com by the way, so, I'm trusting that she actually said it.

Discussing her pregnancy, Ms. Jolie said,

"Like most women, I love being pregnant.” She added that pregnancy makes “you feel like more like a woman than you've ever felt. You just feel like everything about your body is there for your baby.”

I read that this morning and I went, "WHAT IS SHE SMOKING???"

I know that there are SOME women who LOVE being pregnant. I know that they do actually exist because my sister is one of them, and she will tell you that she LOVED being pregnant every time, and she has five biological children, so, I don't think she's kidding.

But I think Angie might be pushing the envelope when she claims to speak for "most women".

She definitely is NOT speaking for me. I HATED being pregnant. I was a TERRIBLE pregnant person. I was rude. I was surly. My co-workers lobbed protein bars over the walls of my cube (I was a number cruncher for a research firm at the time, I hadn't gone to law school yet) before they would come ask me for stuff. I constantly crunched ice and cried at the drop of a hat - such an attractive combination.

Additionally, I SOOOOOOOOO did NOT feel 'more like a woman' than I had ever felt. I felt like I had been invaded by an alien life force. I felt like someone was digging his toes into my rib cage while simutaneously shoving his index fingers into my bladder. (Who might that have been???) I had heartburn for 9 straight months. Frankly I think it's hard to feel "womanly" when you are waddling, burping, moaning about rib and hip pain, and crunching tums and ice at the same time. (Oh, yum, a little tums-flavored frappe in your mouth. Tasty. Not.)

I did not feel "womanly". I felt enormous and awkward and sick and pained. I felt...wretched.

Maybe it's easier to feel 'womanly' and beautiful when you have designer maternity wear and $500 shoes, and a team of people to do your hair and make-up. Maybe I'm being too hard on her, but, I did so much want to smack her when I read that this morning. (Except that I would never really smack anyone, certainly not a pregnant woman, I mean, I'm surly sometimes, but I'm not really cruel!)

I have no doubt that Angelina loves her kids as much as I do. (As much as I love mine, I mean. I don't love Angelina's kids.) (Not that they're not lovely children, I'm sure they're perfectly nice and all, I just don't, you know, love them, I've never even met them!)

But, I do have to disagree with her.

Of course, even my disagreement is not going to stop me from going to see her new movie coming out next month. It's about a SECRET SOCIETY OF HITMEN. (And hitwomen, evidently). How can I resist???

LM

OH - I forgot to mention, one OTHER thing Angelina and I do NOT have in common - I have never worn a vial of Billy Bob Thorton's blood in a bottle around my throat. I swear. :-P