Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Six Years

Six years ago, today, Gabriel and I flew from Los Angeles to Detroit, after spending a week in California, visiting family and friends and attending my cousin's wedding.

It was the first time Gabe had ever been on an airplane.

It was otherwise an uneventful day, as far as we knew then.


Six years ago today, in a city on the South China Sea, a woman whose name means "Jade Lotus" gave birth to a baby girl and she gave that baby girl a name that means "Jade Orchid". She stayed with her for one week, before taking her to an orphanage and asking them to care for her, because she did not have the means to do so herself.

I think the fact that she gave her baby a name so close in meaning to her own meant something of tremendous importance to her. I have to believe she chose that name with a great deal of care.

My feelings about this woman, Jade Lotus, have often been conflicted. And I think the reason for my conflict stemmed not from the actions of Jade Lotus, but rather from the difficulty I had in becoming the mother of Jade Orchid.

Becoming the mother of Jade Orchid was not easy for me. It was a road filled with potholes and switchbacks and, many times, as I began walking on that road, I stumbled and I did not think I could get up again and keep walking ~ because it was so hard. And in its difficulty, I did not have kind feelings about Jade Lotus.

But, that bumpy and difficult part of the road is far behind me, I am no longer becoming Jade Orchid's mother. I am her mother. She is no longer becoming my daughter. She is my daughter.

And in the transforming from the becoming to the being, I have come to feel something towards Jade Lotus that is not conflicted, but, merely simple.

I am grateful.

I am grateful for this little girl, who came into our family in such an unusual way, who, by all rights should have joined another family years earlier. I am grateful for this child who smothers me with kisses and sings me songs and tells me funny stories.

I am grateful, that six years ago, Jade Lotus made a choice to bring this child to the world. I am grateful that she gave me the opportunity to become this child's mother.

And if I could say anything to her today, it would be, thank you. Thank you for this beautiful child, and her beautiful name.

Jade Lotus, where ever you are today, I hope you know that Jade Orchid is safe, and loved, and that she is, above all things, joyful.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, beautiful Lana, who woke up this morning with a smile on her face, and a blissful announcement that "Today is my BIRTHDAY!" It sure is, baby girl, it sure is.



Blogger Graced said...

Reading your entries, like this one, really gives me hope.


Wednesday, November 05, 2008 12:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We, too, are grateful to Jade Lotus. A part of our hearts bursts and grows each time we are with Lana. H&L

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger Jena said...

beautiful, just beautiful

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 3:26:00 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Wow, this is beautiful. Thank you.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 3:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You write the best, deepest, sweetest things. Hope your Lana has a wonderful amazing 6th birthday.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 3:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Nicki said...

Happy birthday Lana! What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful girl!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 4:11:00 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

What a sweet post! I have tears in my eyes. Happy Birthday to Lana!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 4:18:00 PM  
Blogger Terynn said...

Happy Birthday, dear Lana Jade Orchid. You are much loved...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 5:56:00 PM  
Blogger NeuroMama said...

What a beautiful post! Happy birthday, Lana.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 7:15:00 PM  
Blogger Graced said...

Thanks for your comment! That whole scene has been following me around all week.

In a way, it's a relief to know I will always remember. If I forget, it's time to move on.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 8:43:00 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

This was great. You guys have come so far. Happy Birthday sweet Lana!

Thursday, November 06, 2008 12:14:00 AM  
Blogger mam said...

I'm so glad you and your jade orchid found each other. I looked it up -- your name comes from "pearl" were meant to be with jade.

Thursday, November 06, 2008 1:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Elaine said...

Happy birthday to Lana! What a beautiful post.

Thursday, November 06, 2008 8:46:00 AM  
Blogger thecurryseven said...

Happy birthday, Lana!

I didn't realize exactly how close in age TM and Lana were. Just 6 days apart.

Thursday, November 06, 2008 1:04:00 PM  
Blogger Mia's Mommy said...

That totally made me cry. Happy Birthday Lana.

Thursday, November 06, 2008 5:01:00 PM  
Blogger La Turista said...

Oh, so sweet. Happy tears!

Happy Birthday to Lana and Happy Day all around!

Thursday, November 06, 2008 11:17:00 PM  
Blogger KelleyO said...

Happy Birthday Lana. Getchen your posts make my heart smile. They give me such hope and pespective on my own personal journey.

Friday, November 07, 2008 12:14:00 AM  
Blogger maxhelcal said...

Awww...Happy Birthday Lana!

Saturday, November 08, 2008 11:10:00 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

This is a beautiful post, so personal and so touching…Makes me feel happy tears for you and your journey. I am happy for you. Happy Birthday Lana.

Monday, November 10, 2008 3:22:00 PM  
Blogger Shinyung said...

This is beautiful.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 1:18:00 PM  

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