Sunday, September 30, 2007

I can no do this, Mommy

I debated about writing about this, but, then, I decided, sometimes motherhood means you get peed upon, and why not just be honest about that?

When I took Lana to the doctor's office on Friday morning, the doctor wanted a urine sample. (This is kind of par for the course with Lana, because of the bladder/UTI infection she came home from Vietnam with - if she's running a fever, or has been running a fever, the doctor wants to make sure she doesn't have a UTI again.)

Normally, the doctor's office has these, uh, devices, which, for lack of a better explanation, look like upside down white plastic top hats. And you put the white plastic top hat type device under the seat of the toilet, and it catches the, uh, specimen.

But, on Friday, they were out of these handy devices, so, the nurse handed me a DIXIE CUP and told me to do my best.

Can I state, categorically, right now, that this is definitely one area in which boys are easier to parent than girls? I mean, with boys, at least they can AIM at the receptacle, right? At least this has been my experience the two times in my life as a mother-to-a-boy that this has come up.)

Anyhow, Lana sat on the toilet seat, and I, er, placed the Dixie Cup sort of below and in front of her.

Lana looked at me warily. " How 'bout, how 'bout I jus' go pee in da TOILET? How 'bout 'dat idea?" she said.

"Well, normally that idea would be TOPS in my book, sweetie, but, today, we need to put some pee in this cup."

"I can no do dis, mom." She stated, flatly.

"You don't have to go pee?" I ask her.

"I can no' do dis, mommy. I can NO' PEE ON YOU' HAND. I can no' do it."

"I don't want you to pee on my hand. I want you to pee in the cup."

"No mommy. If I pee on 'da cup, 'twill go on you' hand. I CAN NO PEE ON YOU' HAND, MOMMY. 'DAT YUCKY. Big big yucky."

There is no doubt that Mommy agrees with you, 100%, sweet cheeks, I think to myself.

"How about we just try to hit the cup?" I ask.

Which she does, sort of. Enough for the nurse to test anyway.

"Do you got pee on you' hand, mommy? I sorry you got pee on your hand, mommy, but, you gotta wash now. You gotta wash your hand LONG LONG time. Use lotta soap."

Believe me when I tell you that I did just that. A LONG LONG time, with a lot of soap.


PS - the good news is, it was all for nothing - Lana just has a cold, no UTI


Blogger mam said...

Seriously, how cute a story is that!? What a considerate lady -- I believe that if Lucy could express herself, she'd have no qualms about peeing all over me!

Sunday, September 30, 2007 1:26:00 PM  
Blogger S. said...

That is just adorable, sweet girl!

Actually last week M. had to pee in a cup, and for the first time she held it herself! So you won't always get your hand peed on!

Sunday, September 30, 2007 3:38:00 PM  
Anonymous rachel said...

I love that she was so worried about you. :) Hope she's feeling better.

Monday, October 01, 2007 3:18:00 PM  
Blogger La Turista said...

That's one for the baby book. Or your blog. Same difference these days, right? :)

Tuesday, October 02, 2007 9:51:00 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

I just love her!! And I have doen that several times with Ms. V and I always have a waterfall on my wrist! YUCK! What we do for our daughters.

Can't wait to see you on Saturday! Should I have anything special for the kids?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 3:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Nicki said...

OMG, she is so precious!!!!!!! We had the same go-round this week in the doc office with the pee cup but Addy has no words to express her disdain so she just refused to pee :-) You are right, boys get the thumbs up in the specimen department! So glad it was just a cold though, but don't tell her all that hand-pee was for nothing! Heehee

Thursday, October 04, 2007 1:26:00 PM  

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