How does it feel to be that kind of bitch?

Yesterday, I stood in a courtroom for an eviction hearing. The defendant hadn't paid her rent since June. She owed over $2,000 to my client. She had been kicked off her public assistance rental voucher program for allowing her boyfriend to live with her. (Do I think this is a great rule? That you lose your public assistance if your kids' father moves in with you? Not necessarily, but, it IS the rule. It's the rule. If you want your rent paid by the public in this county, you cannot have an able-bodied man living in your apartment. I don't MAKE these rules. These are NOT my rules. I'm just standing in the courtroom representing the the landlord who hasn't gotten any money for his apartment since June because the housing authority won't pay him anymore, because the tenant broke the housing authority rules. Is that *MY* fault?? I'm just there to enforce a binding contract, it's my job, I've got kids to feed, too, you know??)

So, she hadn't paid her rent since June. And she was sitting in the hallway nursing her 10-day-old with her 15-month-old and her 2.5-year-old sitting next to her on the bench, and the boyfriend sitting next to them. And I offered her 2 weeks to vacate, and she told me F**K off and she would ask the judge for a month.

Which she did. And I put on my case, and I asked my client when he had last been paid rent, and he said "June" and the judge granted immediate possession to my client. (Which, in actuality, means the tenant has 5 to 7 days to get out before the bailiffs show up to supervise the landlord putting their stuff on the curb.)

And so she snapped at me. "How does it feel to be the kind of bitch who would throw a newborn on the street? How does it feel to be THAT kind of bitch?" Her words were like venom, and the anger flared up in my chest - sudden, ugly anger - I was angry with her for putting me in that position. I was ANGRY with her for turning down my offer of 2 weeks. I was ANGRY with her for breaking the housing authority rules and getting thrown off the public assistance which gave rise the eviction in the first place. I was ANGRY with her for having three beautiful red-headed blue-eyed babies when I know so many people who have tried so hard to have even one baby. I was ANGRY with her boyfriend for failing to either provide for his family or at least have the decency to move out so that his kids would have a place to live.

I stared at her, and I was ashamed at the very horrible words that were bubbling on my tongue, just below the surface. I didn't say them, I bit them back, and the court deputy took her arm and said, "you cannot behave that way in this courtroom" and he escorted her from the courtroom, with her three babies and the boyfriend.

I sat down in one of the attorney's chairs just in front of the bar separating the gallery from the bench and counsel's tables, and I sat there and waited for 10 minutes, and played with my silk scarf that was a present from Husband when we visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC 2 years ago, and tried not to look upset. I waited because I didn't want to see her in the hallway or in front of the courthouse. I sat there and felt anger and shame and resentment and sadness.

So, you know...how does it feel to be that kind of bitch?

Kind of horrible, actually. Kind of horrible.

LM