Friday, October 19, 2007

Rough Patch

Lana and I went three rounds over a banana this morning. And, in the end, I’ve got to say, the entity that lost the most was probably the banana. It was, well, it was reduced to goo…really, it was not salvageable. But, I’m not sure that Lana and I came out unscathed.

We’ve been having a rough week.

Lana has been crying, a lot. There’s been more fit-throwing in our house than we have seen in months. There have been refusals to eat, well, much of anything. She has even only pecked at CHICKEN NUGGETS. FROM MCDONALDS. Heretofore her own taste Nirvana, Chicken Nuggets have gone HALF EATEN. I don’t know what to make of it.

And Lana has been talking/crying/calling out in her sleep. She is not awake during these episodes, but, they are disturbing the sleep of the rest of us. We’ve been here before, and worked through it. I just didn’t expect to see the night crying return. I thought we were doing well. I thought we had gotten our groove going, I thought we were really functioning well as a family of 4, and then, WHAM! SLAM! We have fit-throwing, food-rejection and night-crying, all in one week’s time.

You know what? It’s exhausting. It’s really exhausting is what it is. And baffling and frustrating and worrisome.

She woke up this morning about 8:00 AM, which is about 45 minutes early for her lately (but, I had not been able to get her to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, which she usually does.) She didn’t want to wait for Gabe to get on the bus at 8:45, she wanted to leave the house IMMEDIATAELY to go to school. And then she wanted a banana. But, not to eat, just to hold. Just to hold because she wanted to eat it in the car. Imagine what a four year does to a banana “just holding it” for 25 minutes.

It opened, just a tiny bit. And then, she was DONE with it. She wanted a NEW banana. NONE of this wretched, OPEN banana for her. She kicked. She screamed. She demanded a new, fresh, unscathed banana.

I screamed. I yelled. Unfortunate things were said by all parties.

I sent Gabe out the door to wait for the bus with his friends. I went upstairs to change my clothes. Lana lay, curled in a heap on the kitchen floor, crying “Daddy daddy daddy daddy” and “Banana banana banana.”

As I was coming down the stairs, she began to weep, “Somebody? Somebody please? Somebody please take me to school, somebody, PLEASE? SOMEBODY PLEEEEEEEEEAAASE??”

And that’s when I think my heart broke. She was crying for somebody, anybody, other than ME.

I picked her up off the floor. I cleaned the banana off her hands. I threw away the (now disgusting) remanant of banana that she was clutching.

She cried and finally leaned into my body. I got her a fresh banana for the car ride. (I know, I know, I don’t know if that was the right thing to do. I don’t.) I gave her some juice.

At school, she sat on my lap for about 5 minutes, snuffling into my blouse. She was clingy and didn’t want me to leave. She finally climbed into the arms of S~ (her teacher) and sadly waved “bye-bye” to me.

I don’t know what happened this morning, or what’s going on with her this week. It just feels all…broken.

I know we've hit rough patches before - patches that were rougher than this, no doubt. But, it's still not easy. Especially when I feel blind-sided by the whole thing.

I hope next week is better.



Blogger S. said...

Sorry you are having a rough week. This too shall pass.

Friday, October 19, 2007 1:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

Ouch. What a rough morning. Kids sure know how to hit our weak spots, don't they? They say attachment is a long process and there are steps back, but I think I'd be as blindsided as you if Zeeb suddenly started acting up like that. Any way to figure out what's on her mind? Maybe something that came up at school or from a book/movie/situation?
At least now it's the weekend and you can have some quality time with hopefully less of the stress that the weekdays tend to bring.
I'll be praying for you!

Friday, October 19, 2007 1:30:00 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

OH I hope you get a good week and that this weekend is ok.
Thinking of you....J

Friday, October 19, 2007 2:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so glad you got her another banana and comforted her on your lap.
Maybe she just needed to feel she was loved good or bad, reaasonable or not. Sometinmes things just bother you and you are craamky and unreasonable especialy is you are 4 and have a lot of stuff to sort out. It is nice to know your mom understands, even when she does not understand.
Who knows what the fight was really about -not the banana that is for sure. I think you need to pick your battles and a banana is not one of them.

Friday, October 19, 2007 7:55:00 PM  
Blogger thecurryseven said...

I don't know whether this will comfort you or not. But at the very least you will know you aren't the only one. This happens here, too...going along fine and then a string of days with behavior we thought we were done with. And we're at 15 months home. I will say it happens with less frequency now and the great-big-noisy-fits don't have near the strength they did, say, a year ago. On the up side, once we weather one of these phases, it seems as though we've reached a new (positive) level of attachment. Hang in there!

Friday, October 19, 2007 10:16:00 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

I am so sorry for the rough week. THey are so hard. We have been going through some really weird stuff with Lucy as well, and to be honest, it is scary at times. I am going to write about it when I can put my thoughts together. Luckily, I think we are through with our patch. I hope yours ends soon as well. Thinking about you all!

Friday, October 19, 2007 11:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am also glad that you gave Lana another banana.

Whatever it was that was/is unsettling to her lately, had to have been made better by the compassion shown by her mom.

On my worst day, that's how I'd like someone to treat me...


(from Iowa)

Friday, October 19, 2007 11:47:00 PM  
Blogger mam said...

OH, LM...thinking of you and Lana and wishing for the best. No practical advice, yet; Lucy can't talk (a blessing, maybe?).

Saturday, October 20, 2007 8:51:00 PM  
Blogger kate said...

Awwww...i hope next week is better too...

Maybe she is crying in her sleep *because* she needs to go to the bathroom but isn't waking up fully? My son had night terrors at this age for that reason, it took us forever to figure it out...

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 8:52:00 AM  
Blogger niobe said...

That's so painful even to read about. Hoping for better and easier days and nights.

Like Kate's son, I had night terrors for years, where I would talk, cry, or scream in my sleep, but had no recollection of it in the morning. I did grow out of it eventually, though it took a very long time.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 10:04:00 AM  

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