If I Kiss You Where It's Sore, Will You Feel Better, Better, Better?

It's Monday morning. I'm not really sure where most of the last four days went. There was a LOT of benadryl and a lot of steroids consumed. Many hours of time lost to a drug induced fog.

I can say, categorically, that I feel better right this second than I have felt since May 12. (The day before my surgery).

I think that's progress.

The hives/rash/sensation that my skin is on fire has mostly dissipated. Considering how horrifying my skin looked on Wednesday (my mother told me last night that, in all honestly, when she first saw me at the doctor that afternoon, she thought I had been burned in a grease fire) - the spots have faded quite a bit and are no longer raised up. I'm hopeful they will fade entirely in the next few days. My feet still do look a titch sunburned, and feel sunburned, and I am supposed to wear only white cotton socks in case they still do peel. At this point, the way they look, I have the impression that they will peel like a sunburn does.

The doctor wants me to keep taking Cipro for another week.

Having survived the allergic reaction/trauma, my abdomen has decided to remind me that, yes, I did have an organ removed. I am suddenly a bit tender/sore. (I was probably tender/sore before, but in so much pain from the my-skin-is-on-fire thing that I didn't notice before.)

But, the bottom line is, I feel better today. And better is good.

I wish I could tell you that I used my time confined to bed to read some new and fabulous books. But, the drugs made me so sleepy and confused that I spent my time reading some old young adult favorites (Anne of Green Gables, The Great Brain) (both series I have read so many times that it is almost like they are imprinted on the plains of my memory, and reading them again is like a visit with an old friend who doesn't ask a lot of you) and watching my Veronica Mars DVDS (again, something I know almost by heart).

I did watch the first four episodes of the HBO show TRUE BLOOD, and my goodness. WOW. I love the Sookie Stackhouse books, and I am loving this show. (Being about vampires, it is NOT for the faint of heart or stomach.)

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Kelsey. Kelsey is still missing. It has been 23 days. I cannot spell out those things that I am truly afraid of. If I type here the very ugly places that my brain and my heart and my fears have been visiting, I am afraid it will give those fears...some kind of truth. So I refuse. I refuse to type those things. I am choosing to believe that Kelsey is hiding, frightened by the events that occurred in the days leading up to her disappearance. That is what I am choosing to believe right now. To believe otherwise is to give in to despair. I hold onto the truth that sometimes people are found. Sometimes, people are found. That is all I have to say.

LM


* Regina Spektor, Better